Separation Anxiety is a Lesson
Lukas and I went over to my sister’s house last night after Brad and I closed on our new home. (more on that exciting development in future posts!) Lukas has been at my sister’s a handful of times before - and he’ll be there a lot more often now that we’ll be quasi-neighbors . My sister has two dogs and Lukas gets along with both, as demonstrated by the friendly “get-the-ball” competition he has with Clarabell or the big-brothering he does with Oscar.
But to leave Lukas in the backyard with his cousin-dogs so he can do dog things while I do human things inside the house without him, doesn’t fly with my guy. It appears we are each other’s magnets. We have, for almost three years, done ever-y-thing together. It feels clunky to be apart - like something is missing when we’re not near each other. And, what’s maybe the hardest thing to express to others is that, quite frankly, we like it this way. However, this preference for each other’s company it’s not always easy and, it can, as Lukas shared with me, create misunderstanding in the traditional human view of how the relationship to canines should be.
Many would deem his freaking out when I leave him alone at home as Separation Anxiety. And I don’t necessarily disagree. It does leave me wondering how can I leave him if my husband and I need to fly back to Alaska. Because, in many non-aviation situations, he can just come along. And, as we learned in living in Alaska, leaving your dog in the car can be an acceptable option - given that it isn’t too hot outside (like 5 days out of the year in Anchorage) or too cold (also limited to a number of days where we lived). Therefore, using the car as a crate worked best for all of us - especially after he destroyed 5 in-home crates during his first six months with us.
We also had a great doggy daycare in Anchorage which was operated out of the owner’s home and they rarely left when they had boarders. So, Lukas would go there every day before the pandemic, when both my husband and I had office jobs. And, when we would celebrate our Alaska-versary in Denali or go home to see family in Michigan, Lukas could stay with Randy and Tony to everyone’s delight. Zach was another human who, if it was hot or we’d be away from our car for more than 2 hours, would happily come over and take Lukas for a run and then hang out with him until we got home.
Now, though, we’re in another new place so new resources have to be found. Which, I’m confident, the Universe will provide. But it got me thinking about why he doesn’t want to be alone. And when I asked him last night he said “it’s more about being away from you. My job is to protect you and if I’m not near you, I can’t do my job.”
He continued, “The soul lesson we are working on together included me helping you get out of that job that was sucking your life away. Had I not broken your leg, your transition to being a full-time intuitive would have taken way too long. You couldn’t wait any longer to fulfill your heart’s desire. So - knocking you off your pins was a way to break the hold that unfulfilling career had on you.”
“Hm…,” I said. “I can see that now.” Lukas continued, “This is why so many “pandemic” dogs have separation anxiety. They were adopted while their humans stayed home and now their humans are going back to work. It’s not so much that the humans are leaving the dogs alone - it’s that the humans were happy working from home and/or exploring new things. They had time with family. They were more grounded. They learned a bit more about what is important. But now, they are going back to jobs that don’t fulfill them. And they are getting swept back up into the old world order of go-go-go and buy-buy-buy that isn’t serving anyone. This isn’t evolving the species spiritually - as it needs to do. So the dogs are throwing fits to get their humans to wake up and do something else that makes their hearts sing.”
He’s right. As I look back on the time during lockdown, a time during which I lost my job, I can actually see that Covid provided some blessings. I started Julie Hirt Intuitive, I honed my baking skills and had real quality time with my husband and Lukas. Both Lukas and I acknowledge that Covid has been much harder on some than others. However, when I think about how much I had to let go of - I can see how much I was actually capable of letting go. I spent less money on things I didn’t need and started a little savings that helped us buy our new house. And this new chapter is empowering me to focus on things that are really important - family, friends and community. When I see what I truly missed by being so caught up in a job I actually hated - I can see how Lukas helped me get here. Which is why, being with him is so comforting and grounding.
And I realize, separation anxiety isn’t so much about the dog being separated from the human.
It’s the dog warning us that we’re in danger of separating, again, from what matters most; Ourselves.
Our preferred state of being - together.