The Work-Around That Keeps Giving
Well, I've done it again. Even though I knew I was doing it - I did it yet again! I'm overwhelming my life with lots of things to do - all in an effort to help me feel Worthy. As some of you may know, I'm working with the Negative Belief of Not Worthy right now. All of us work through all four of the Negative Beliefs as we continue on this human experience. For me, developing my skills as a Certified Soul Level Intuitive Coach® had me learn to dance with them consciously. Currently, Not Worthy and I are doing a really awesome Two-Step. (ie Two Steps forward and one step back but that’s another story and video!)
In this most recent jig, however, I'm finding all kinds of behaviors aka work-arounds to help me feel Worthy so I don’t look deeper at the reasons why. But ha! With Soul Level Intuitive Coaching®, I have the tools to know what’s setting off the dance and how, if it’s no longer fun for me, I can learn a new step.
Which leads me back to overloading my plate. This behavior that I adopted to make myself feel Worthy no longer serves me. I become irritable and I begin to isolate myself. Being of a certain wisdom year (I just learned that term and I love it!), I know I need a good amount of sleep each night, I need to eat a balanced meal and I need to hang out with Lukas in nature for at least an hour or two a day. And when I overload my plate in an effort to feel Worthy, I compromise all of the things I need. My demeanor reflects it and so does my body. My back really starts to hurt, my feet cramp mercilessly at night and I can get depressed. These are all warning signs that I’m letting Not Worthy take the lead. The clues my body and emotion send me cue me to look at what I’m actually doing - which in this case, is overloading my plate. And I can further ladder it back to identifying the Negative Belief, whose origin story I know. Now, I can see the whole dance floor of what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and, for me, knowing it no longer serves me, I can make a Conscious Choice to waltz instead.
And therein, lies where I am. I’ve been trying to waltz but I keep falling into the two-step. Why? Well, it’s comfortable. It’s also kicking up other reasons why I use this behavior such has having hard time saying no or wanting to learn EVERYTHING right now. These are all smaller work-arounds tied to this bigger one. So while I think I can quickly change dance steps, I can’t always do it overnight. Sometimes, I have to stay with it a little longer to really get to know it before I can fully spin it off.
I’m super curious about where all of this will lead. And I’m also understanding that THIS is the dance of life. Not getting to bottom of it all and finally resting, but continuing to explore the dance itself.
Plate photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash